Monday, February 24, 2014

Two Sentence Horror Stories

http://www.mandatory.com/2014/02/21/20-terrifying-two-sentence-horror-stories/
She had gotten used to being alone. It was strange now that her house was full of people, who had no idea she was there at all.

He watched her comb her long, dark hair and stare contentedly at herself in the mirror. "She is so beautiful," he thought, opening the closet door and stepping into the light.




Monday, February 17, 2014

Gnaw

Some days,
my mouth forms around the words “I love you”
and nothing comes out
until my second cup of coffee

Some days,
you ask too much of me

Some days,
I need taking the lead
to exist beyond the bedroom

Most days
my mouth explodes with emotion
from the moment I open my eyes

Most days,
I can move mountains if you ask me

Most days,
I am more than content to give you the reins,
while leading the cart myself

But those other days,
I don’t know how to alert you
to my need for a firm hand
for you to take initiative
for something else
to tell you that I love you, but I am not entirely sure I like you right now

Will those days become more frequent
the longer we share a bed?
a life?
obligations?

Or will those days
the ones where you hung the moon in honor of me
the ones where I miss you even though I am only at work
and am bound to see you in a matter of time

Will those days,
become the norm?

How do I keep that “do no wrong” halo above your head
the red out of my vision?
How do we continue to find new ways to fuck
and laugh
and talk
and sing
while life continues to try and shut us up
down
away?

Will you still look at me with amazement
when I brush my hair behind my ear and smile
while telling you a story?
If you have heard all of my stories?

Will you still put your hand
gently on my neck while I drive
guiding me as I guide us down the road of life
my hand on your knee
our final destination
unknown.

Will you still want to marry me,
When we have been married for most of our lives?

Will our marriage
mean as much
now that (most of) society agrees it is a marriage after all?

How do two people, make a life
when there are more people
on the sidelines
rooting against them
and creating their own teams
fighting over who gets picked last

Will there ever be enough
of you
of us
of time
of space
to share all of the things that we want to share with all of the people that deserve to be shared with
How
How do you do it?
How do you make a relationship work
when it feels like WORK
when it isn’t all laughs
when the bad things come and I can’t say the right words
because my tongue is nailed to the roof of my mouth with stubborn rage
and the tears are acid on my cheeks
and your stare is 100 kinds of painful

Do you hold on
to that morning where we were the only ones there
and we had just finished making love
our sheets damp and tangled
the dogs staring up, waiting for their space to be returned
and we laugh at something silly
and we created stories for things that never happened
and people that have never existed
and everything. just, everything, is perfect.
in that moment

Is that what gets us through those other times?
Those times are hard

How do we remain separate, autonomous individuals,
when we have entwined our lives
and security
in each other?
When not seeing you for an evening confounds me?

How can I use imagery in this instance
so you can better understand my gnawing fears
little beavers of self doubt
there I did it.

I am never sure what tomorrow will look like
only that you will be there
next to me
holding the back of my neck
your fingers
electric



Irene and Joy and Grandma

This is the one i am thinking of reading in its most recent incarnation, thoughts>

A Boston marriage my grandmother called it
Two women, independent of the support of a man
living together in a romantic friendship.

Irene, and her companion Joy
raising a son named Rodger together
no one asked who was his mother
It didn’t matter

we made necklaces together
in a loft bed
he was somewhere in his thirties, his mind still somewhere in early childhood
I watched the women
drink coffee
and touch hands
while we made necklaces

It did not occur to me to question the status of these two women
of my grandmothers friendship with them
of the “situation”
in which they lived.

When my grandmother died
a gnarled image of the woman she used to be
in slacks and turquoise jewlery
knuckles like tree knots
and skin hanging off of her like paper streamers
the aftermath of a party long since over

My mother told me that when my grandmother was young
tall and fit
the only woman on the assembly line
in full makeup
and heels
standing for hours at a time fitting pieces into pieces
in her high shoes and lady face

There was a theory goin around the family that Grandma, or Betty, or Mom,
wanted to be with, or was, one of “THOSE” women
like Irene
and Joy
living in their shared house
just down the road from my grandmother
where they retired
together
after 30 years as teachers
friends with my grandmother for  most of that time
they build their house on a hill just down the road
so they could always
drink coffee in the sunshine
and touch hands

I never considered this Boston Marriage
while making necklaces with gentle Rodger in the loft bed
staring through colored beads I watched them laugh
and I thought,
how nice.

I hope when I grow up,
I have love like this
Like Irene and Joy
and Rodger with his beads

Grandma walked me home and held my hand tight
my necklaces twisted around my wrist in wait of being handed out to Shelly
my 9 year old companion
and third grade life mate

She glowed in the sunlight
and promised we would be back tomorrow

As a woman now
my own lady face constructed
and still a love of plastic, beaded jewlery
I sit in a kitchen and hold the hand of a woman who is my companion
at least for that morning
and I think about the delicious normalcy
of drinking coffee
and touching hands
while my daughter makes necklaces in her loft bed

And I wonder if seeing us here in the kitchen
gives her peace and a desire for love
like it did for me
with grandma

I told my daughter I was gay when she was 5.
Her father was gone and I was not interested in sneaking kisses after bed time or pronoun changing for her “benefit”

I introduced her to my girlfriend and after dinner that night, as I walked her to the door, I kissed her full on the lips as my daughter watched from the kitchen

I did not feel sorry
but I did question my decision
When she asked me
if she was gay now too

No one ever told me that Companions
were also lovers
that Irene and Joy must have made love in the moon light in their shared bed
with Rodger asleep next door
secure in that both mothers would be there to make bacon in the morning

In telling my daughter that I was gay
that something was different for me
than for the mothers of her friends
did I remove that sunlight touch and plastic bead viewpoint from her perspective?
Does she now have too much information?

Did Grandma love these women
love them like they loved each other
shared vacations excuses to be alone
to create memories
and touch hands
away from prying eyes
of adults with too much information

Is that why Rodger and I were safe
with our beads
and our loft bed
quiet witnesses to soft touches
drinking coffee
love that needed no additional information

Maybe sometimes nothing
is better than something
so everything
can quietly exist

on its own terms

poet

here is the other thing i wrote...also wanting to read it...let me know...

i tell people i am a writer
it sounds solid like i produce things
things of substance
i WRITE things
novels
stories
things that take up some space

i call myself a poet under my breath
a whispered word in the corners
poets are frivolous
stringing flowery sentiments
with verbosity
simile
metaphor
hyperbole

what i want to scream is
that poetry
is a metaphor
the only way i know
to put my guts on display

to harvest the deepest parts of myself
and beg to be seen
there are no characters
in my poems
just me scraped raw
see me here
covered in these words
like bandages

i am pouring myself
out onto paper
with no regard for sentence structure
and oxford commas
i want vocative commas
and my throat tight
around words
i am scared to speak

i want words pouring
from my mouth
in pulsing rhythms
like the vein i
just tapped to spray
myself in red
on the wall

i am not sitting in room
full of people in black
high-necked shirts
waiting for them to snap
their fingers in some
hipster mating call of
approval

i am here
to pull out my mess
and translate it
into a stanza
for you

i am not here to call myself a writer
i am here to
bleed my life onto paper
to build a rescue
ladder of words
to save myself
and my beating
open heart
from a world bent
on its destruction
counting on its silence

i am a poet because
anything else is
a lie my skin cannot bare
i whisper the word poet
because
it is me
and all the bleeding words
i can scream
won’t save me
if that one goes

unsaid

fluid by nature

So this is the thing i wrote...tell me what you all think...i think i'd like to do this one at the reading at western but want some feedback first...

not the wishy washy
sloshing in a bucket
back and forth
kind of fluid

not the indecisive
ebb and flow
that always leaves
 the shore in doubt
of the wave’s intention

no

the crashing on the beach
pulled by the moon
taking a thousand years
to change the shape of a stone
sort of fluid

tears rushing down cheeks
crashing onto pillows
take your breath away
cold splash in the face
warm wash away
your sins of a day
kind of fluid

dripping thick rain forest leaves
 lush places
discovered
opened
coursing rivers
brought by lust
and a firm hand
kind of fluid

i am fluid by nature

wet and watery
but never watered down
briny and rich
depth of flavor
that plays salty tricks on your tongue
momentarily quenching a thirst
but leaving your mouth wanting

rushing smooth like silk
over rocks
twisting the turns of phrase
the water of life
pouring
crashing
diving for the depths
of meaning
for the rain of words
tapping against the
windowpane of my mind

until the torrent rushes
pouring past my lips
falling with pounding ferocity
hurricane force rains
of my tears
and my phrases

deep blue pool held back
held back behind the dyke
with a hole in it and
only a finger
to stop it up
never enough
and more fingers just bring on
the flood

i am fluid by nature

thick slow and sticky
viscous like honey
sweet and hard to wash off
pooling golden
in the curves of you
making your fingers
leave prints on glass
sometimes i don’t move quickly
but i always move

flow over
push out the cork and
fill the long stemmed glass
with gold and bubbles
bursting my words
on the palate

i flow like water
like wine
like honey
like oyster broth
like the sea
like tears
like hot blood
like a trickle
like a flood


i am fluid by nature